back
So, it was Friday,
me and Fliss had just seen Godzilla, which was a story in itself since
I managed to misread my watch and wait for half an hour, when I was one
hour early. But I was quite proud of myself having actually walked somewhere
in Edinburgh, that I hadn’t walked to before. (simple pleasures hey?) And
it was a sunny day. We had a pizza at pizza hut where Felicity decided
to tell me she was quite a lot (in the million range I should think or
more) and would get it on her 23rd birthday. It was one of her Grandfathers
who had been a Lawyer. Who had died. Not the grandfather who had started
the IRA. Blood will out I suppose. (?)
Godzilla,
was interesting but not as thrilling as Jurassic Park, but better than
The lost world at least.
After that
we walked to my house, Felicity happily singing Madonna songs to herself,
and then since I thought my neighbors were on holiday, blasting it out
on the Hi Fi. Then got my stuff, met my Mum on the way to Haymarket, missed
the train, got on the next one and had a refreshing bizarre drive to her
house with a supposedly promiscuous man called Collins who insisted on
calling a well dressed man crossing the street, who may or may not have
been an armadillo (but they don’t wear clothes?), Humprey Bogart. I bet
you glad to pop out of that clauses huh? But anyway, I was forced to eat
(or rather sample) another strange stew creation of her mother’s, with
the compulsory garlic bread, while Fliss had an argument with her father.
Then we watched TV, for the greater part of the night, then went to the
room with two beds to sleep. Felicity the gracious host taking the heated
bed for herself. ("Why don’t I sleep next to the window tonight?" "Sure."
And then telling me it had a heated mattress)
Went to
bed, kaput you may think, sleeping. It was definitely an interesting talk.
It went on for about two hours and you can tell I beating around the bush
can’t you? Do you want it explained in detail? Yeah so? Who cares about
your opinion? It went thus. I had mentioned that we never really talk earlier,
she’d decided to follow this up, kind of. Then it got onto the subject
of depression, which is quite close to my heart, or has been recently.
I, in my usual manner, pretending to be angry, as showing emotion in front
of other people is next to impossible for me, at not having my secrets
pulled out of me. Then it got interesting. Hinting around the big secret
again, she decided to pursue it, and she said she may have done something
similar when she was younger but grown out of it. I said in reply that
I’m not very likely to grow out of it now am I? And then we happily beat
around the bush for ages it appeared, just saying things in the darkness.
It was getting to the point that we were pretty sure we were talking about
the same thing, (and it we hadn’t been it would have been pretty darn hysterical)
So we started naming names, or at least their first letters like B and
G or H. I though B? what about L. I know Ga. "Well you practically said
it there" she said. It was an immense relief. We talked about that
the rest of the night. How I was Gay and she was Bisexual, and how she
like Charles, and though she’d turned his brother, her ex-boyfriend the
other way, since he went to the cinema with Gordon so much. There were
other things of course about school friends and crushes and other things,
but they’re all just a bit sensitive right now.
Next day:
Got up early
for a hike up the west highland way. Met Lady the new dog. Met Daisy the
simpleton gardener. Restrained myself from killing a spider in the shower.
Drove to
Balmaha. Walked. Tried putting myself in a trance by closing my eyes. Didn’t
work. Walked. Stopped, got nipped by the tiniest damn midgies I have ever
seen. Some three millimeters by one. Walked up a hill. Got daisy to carry
my pack, because I was so exhausted. Without the pack I got that thing
where you feel light headed and get strange visions from suddenly having
oxygen returned to my brain. Walked, felt half dead. Stopped. Walked, felt
dead. Stopped. Walked, wanted to make someone else dead, walked. Reached
Youth Hostel. Entered room, tried for ten minutes to straighten my back.
Went to local hotel for grub. Could hardly eat, only rehydrate myself.
I got enough sugar from the coke. When back to Hostel prematurely, muttering
dementedly about, maniacs, wanting to kill me and got to go home. Home,
home, home. Got to go home. Maniacs, their trying to kill me. Maniacs,
maniacs. Got to go home, got to go home. Kill me! Maniacs. Home, home,
home. Can’t go on, got to go home. Which was fun, I enjoyed it. Got me
enough instability to actually call my Mum and get Dad to pick me up tomorrow.
I didn’t tell Guppy.
Lost count
of spiders in the room, corridors and outside the window. Went to bed,
me and fliss had a good laugh about a certain part in Godzilla involving
a old Japanese Guy and the Muttering of Gojira to a passing cigarette lighter.
Indeed.
Sunday.
Went home. Stayed
in bath until my fingers hurt from wrinkling and my feet hurt from the
hot water getting on to my blisters. That was about it.