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06th July 2000 Wersday, 19:53

Right, Sesame street. Letters also. Anything else, vitamins, got to eat them. Yup. I wanna go home to Edinburgh. New guy came round today and made me homesick. I’ve got to out of this place. Or possibly some sleep. 

So Sesame street, those weird pinball bits that end in letters of the alphabet. Instead of something like a T come up and stay. A T should come up, the S should bully it off the screen, (The S is always doing that, it always has to be before the T. It’s a right bastard.) Then the R comes on and starts snogging it. Next time we get pinball thing, or some stupid kids making the letter R out of Peas or something. The R is having a clandestine shag with the P, when both the Q and S come on shocked at their respective partners infidelity. (Last they’ll appear on J springers show to have a big brawl.) Next time, when a letter appears it’s the M, and the W, spiky comes walking upside down to it, in a spidery kind of way, and they start snogging. Then N comes on, (M’s brother) and says shocked things like that’s disgusting, against nature and so on. Possibly shagging here could bean interlocking. Then the Ivy League, ABCD and E’s are in their vest tank tops and Ties, and abuse the geeks, VWXYZ in school or something. (With the academic HIJKL’s looking on) O the solitary brooding artist gets into an intense, Tristan and Isolde sort of romance with X who’s on the other side of the tracks so to speak. Or maybe you could just make it into a satire of a soap opera, character A, B and so on. 

Anyway, Big bird, Obviously is a drunken smoking and cursing, kind of beggar bird. All a tattered and leaving grimy feathers behind in the Blade Runner style always raining sesame street. Keeps reminiscing about Oz days. Later beats up and knifes the yellow teletubbies in a brutal alley fight. Which leaves Ohh la la’s stomach TV scared and dead for the rest of its life. The grumpy one in the trash is obviously a gremlin, and keeps popping up and making noise then going away. Basically. (It’s a real gremlin from the actual film) The cookie monster is renames the cheesypuff monster is in fact cartman. The counting count dracula, who’s he again? Hmmm… I’ll remember later. All the kids ar those annoying as hell street louts who linger in the middle of roads wearing Adidas trousers and cheap anoraks. The passers by all hate them. They all drink alcopops and such, talk about drugs and sex. One of the girls is pregnant and pushes a pram around with a little hybrid baby bear in it. The father is a bigger bear who infrequently comes on to shag her in private and snog her in public. He’s a druggy though and eventually the two bigger bears, his parents lock him in his room to clean him up, and we get a trainspotting pastiche with a baby bear instead of a human one. Also whenever somebody looks in the pram the baby bear is always moving in continuous sinuously trance movements. 

In the opening credits. We get some famous kid like mcCauley culking happily playing, but then he says fuck this and lights up a fag before sitting down to a whiskey. (Somebody younger would be better. About 8 maybe. ) The playground come into focus with drug dealing, violent and punishing bullying going on, possibly some risque groping and teachers ignoring it all. Maybe some of those annoying older girls which have performed self-lobotomies. And the young boys are all squeaky, while the older ones all have voice problems. 

So that was my Sesame street idea. Possibly also psychedelic weirdness in-between to link pieces, like the cat scene out of Go!, and music provided by Babybird – the F- word. 

Today, met this guy, was an introvert, which really took it out of me actually. I think I pulled it off though. I’m soo tired now though. I can’t stp the self analysis afterwards. I feel like an idiot, a person without a brain I used to criticise when I was younger. But my younger self was an idiot right? Should I respect their unblinkered view on this matter or not? I have maturity, they have my personality forming memories. 

The count, he could be a totally annoying child prodigy being wasted in the scheme environment, or an idiot savant, taunted and bullied. Or he could just be a big freak. Oh and those weirdo’s that are in that separate set, they’d be surrounded by pastiches, the two ronnies, morecambe and wise, and so on. They’d probably do fast show take offs. Like the drunken guy. Possibly in the flesh. 

I’ve obviously spent too much of my mind thinking about this. I’ll stop now. 
 

Author information goes here. < That's Me! Or Meg if you want my full name. 
Copyright © 1999 by [weirdscience]. Most rights reserved.
Revised: 27 May 2000 21:14:14 +0100 .