...

...

2nd June 2000, 21:17, Friday. 

Got stoned yesterday. 

Today, should have been on the train to Tembey, but for a catastrophic series of fuck ups and misundertsnadings and forgetfulness and social bigotry which my life generall is. At the beginning. Me while stoned agreed to go with Nickey to tembey at the weekend. To depart Friday night and come back Sunday, driven by her dad. So far so good, getting me to decide to go to any ones house is always a struggle, well apart from Felicities, but we all know why that is. Or at least the plural in my brain. Anyway, the whole, can’t go won’t go thing was because of an almighty fuck up back when I didn’t have a concept of an almighty fuck up, nevermind a fuck. Back in St Ursula’s days. Why didn’t I just say no to going over to her house? So much simpler. Anyway, from that episode I am sure has stemed my subconscious fear of going to other peoples houses and having less fun than I would had I stayed at home. Usually never the case, but that’s not what my brain tells me. Incidentally, I only figured that out last week. I think it’ll take a whole lifetime to understand myself. If I can be bothered. Y’know? Might get boring after a while. NoHow, on with the story. So come home Friday night, in car with Paula, the flatmate who gives me a lift to work, and we stop off in Bedminster for me to get rent money and her to get a ten minute tan. So after the ¾ of an hour I wait for her to get her ten minute tan, we go home, and I pack maniacically, and check the internet for messages from people I know. No, none from Dex or FrankaLang, only loads of mailings from The Third Alternative scumming up my mail box with chatter about guitar based rock, c’mon guys, it’s over already. So packed, towels, CD’s shoes, coats. Joss sticks, y’know, the essentials. Go downstairs, going to try and fish for a lift, where Paula and Nick (her boyfriend) are violently eating their dinner on the sofa. (They did manage that adverb, I didn’t just put it in for purpality) Make myself something quick and scoff it. Then Graham come in th door, Yeah! Graham can give me a lift. Shout at him through the bedroom door and he does. Fine dandy, get my keys, bag in boot, off we go! Oooo, forgot about the whole, Parkway thing, Nickey phones while packing to say she stopping off at parkway, not going through temple meads. Graham asks paula where Parkway station is. Off the M32, not good, too far away to get there at this late stage. I resolve, (Wow, soooo decisive) to go to temple meads and check with rail info, see all trains should go through temple meads, it’s the main station. Parkway’s just a dive. So off we go, Grahams old ford goes up on the curb to get past a couple of cars, someone leaning into a car practising stealing a radio on their own car no doubt. Traffic is awful, Crawl along to Temple Meads, and it’s a one way system, so have to go around the black to get into it. It’s getting fine, so I look in my bag to call nickey to say I’ve gotten a later train to swansea. Guess what? Yeah, I forgot it, it’s still on and on my table in my locked room. I don’t know nickeys mobile number. Great I’m fucked. Completely! I can’tdo shit trying to buy a ticket at the last minute for a train nickey may well not be on and which she won’t be looking for me. W drive right past temple meads and home. I phone nickey, turns out of course that her train does go into temple meads. It'’ also delayed by half an hour. Fuck you bloody trains. Nect ones at ten to seven, but by the time I’ve found that out, and had a chat to nickey, and found that Graham seemed to be annoyed, I didn’t want to go back to the train station. Weekend o fun fucked beyond belief. I was going to get to meet her younger sister, sneak her into a club, (Which would have been a first for me too, getting into a decent club that is) and generally got stoned again, and then probably again, all the while pretending to be hetero. WooHoo. Yeah okay, it would be fun actually. Dancing, in a club, stoned. What more could I have asked for? Damn me, and fucking events conspiring against me. All of them damn them. I need to phone Felicity and rant more. This page hasn’t got it out of my system. Also depression would be nice. More of that please!

I’m off to write bad slash fiction. Fun fun fun. 3Fun. Right. Anyway.
 
 
 
 

Author information goes here. < That's Me! Or Meg if you want my full name. 
Copyright © 1999 by [weirdscience]. Most rights reserved.
Revised: 27 May 2000 21:14:14 +0100 .